Am I Polyamorous?
Could polyamory be the best type of relationship for you?
Polyamory involves being in multiple romantic relationships at one time with the express knowledge and informed consent of all partners. It is a type of open relationship that follows certain guidelines, agreed upon by the people involved. It’s different from monogamy, or the practice of having just one committed partner at a time.
So, which label best describes you? Take this quiz to see where you fall on a polyamorous or monogamous relationship spectrum.
- Not a fan. I don’t like being tied down to one person.
- I don’t really have an opinion. I’m open to having one partner or multiple.
- Committed relationships are all I know—I’m not sure if I could ever branch out.
- Love them! Having one partner to give my love to works best for me.
- So many! I think I lost count.
- I’ve definitely crushed on at least two people at once.
- Just one, but I’m not completely sure.
- One! I only experience romantic feelings for a single person at a time.
- Yes! If they’re happy, I’m happy.
- I’m definitely open to the idea.
- I’d prefer for my partner to only kiss me.
- Not at all. That makes me really uncomfortable.
- A little trapped, honestly. Being with the same person for so long is stressful.
- I’m a little overwhelmed, but I’m happy we made it this far.
- Pretty good! It feels like just yesterday we started dating.
- So amazing—here’s to the next 6 months!
- Absolutely! I feel like I have so much love to offer others.
- I think so. I feel open and curious to explore what that might be like.
- I’m not so sure. How does that work and what does it feel like?
- Definitely not. I can only have romantic feelings for one person at a time.
- Yes! I’m cool with anything as long as my partner is comfortable.
- I’m open to the idea, but I might have to take things slow.
- I’m not super comfortable with the idea, but I’m willing to talk about it.
- No, I’m not. I really value traditional boundaries in my relationships.
- No, I don’t. I just feel like there’s something missing in my relationship.
- Kind of, but I don’t feel completely satisfied.
- I think so! I feel happy about 80% of the time, which is expected.
- Absolutely! My partner fulfills a lot of my needs.
- I didn’t feel capable of meeting all my partner’s needs.
- I didn’t really know what I wanted in the relationship.
- I felt that I was more invested in the relationship than my ex was.
- I couldn’t see myself sharing the rest of my life with them.
- I don’t like the stigma surrounding it.
- It’s really unfamiliar territory for me.
- I like monogamy and am unsure if I want to branch out.
- The lack of exclusivity really bothers me.
- Not at all! It makes me feel energized.
- Not really. It feels good to spend time with different people.
- A little bit. Too much socializing or intensity really drains me.
- For sure. I definitely need my space.
- Absolutely! I love the idea.
- I think I could be.
- Possibly, but being intimate with just one person sounds more appealing to me.
- Never. I could only ever be intimate with my partner.
What Polyamory Is (And Isn’t!)
There are a lot of misconceptions and stereotypes out there about polyamory—that it’s the equivalent of cheating, it’s the same thing as an open relationship, or it’s somehow less real or “legit” than monogamy. All of these misconceptions couldn’t be further from the truth.
Polyamory is defined as the practice of having more than one partner with the consent and knowledge of other partners. Polyamorous people have multiple loving, intentional, and intimate relationships at the same time, focusing on intimate romantic relationships. Other types of consensual non-monogamy are more focused on physical or sexual intimacy. Here are a few terms you might run into:
Open relationship - An open relationship only involves people consensually opening their relationship to explore sexual intimacy with others.
Swinging - Swinging (or swapping) involves a married or otherwise committed duo who agree to have sex with other people. Swinging is often associated with an additional extra level of commitment to your main partner.
Polygamy - Polygamy is the official term for being officially married to multiple partners. Polygamous relationships are often associated with men having multiple wives, while polyamory is associated with equality and individuality.
Polyamorous relationships come in all shapes and forms—what matters most is that all partners are aware of and okay with the other relationships that their partners are having. Because of this, polyamorous relationships require an especially strong sense of trust, communication, and transparency so all parties can feel secure, loved, and on the same page with their other partners.
Want to learn more?
Want to learn even more about polyamory? Here are a few resources to help you get started: